How the fuck should I know?

Rainbows, unicorns, customers, clients, ponies, dicks, shit like that. Stickman comics where Grant's character always wears a dress.

Saturday, August 23, 2014



MORE @ 11

Seriously though, wash your fucking hands you filthy, fucking, mouth-breathing animals.  I've felt like shit pretty much all week.  No interest in finishing the posts, they are coming though.

I don't feel like dealing with pictures and witty captions so I am going to synopsisize (yeah, fuck you) the short sci-fi film block I saw.  I will attempt to be spoiler free and provide links where I can.

nullus mandatum:


This one has Jordan Hinson from Eureka in it.  She was the only actre (gender neutral, fuck you) I recognized from any of the films.  That isn't a knock, just a fact.  The movie is set in a "Terminator" style apocalypse and focuses on a group of survivors in a bunker. ( I know, fuck you) One is an irascible scamp who can't help himself, even in dire circumstances. (yeah, scamp, fuck you, irascible too) It was also one of the best of the bunch, regardless of how my previous sentence made it sound.

Here is the trailer, it may have even been an indiegogo campaign.  Check it out if you get the chance.


This film is the reason I decided to check these films out.  The tagline on the poster "Civil liberties are yesterday" really got my brain juices stewing.  Well that was a deceitful fucking lie.  Yeah in the post plague wasteland there are no civil liberties but it isn't the edgy technothriller I was hoping for.  

Here is the trailer.  It was still enjoyable, if somewhat abrupt, (short film I know, fuck you) even if the whole civil liberties spin was background noise and set dressing.  Worth checking out, I mean it is only ten minutes for shit's sake.


The IMDB page for this movie was next to useless, but it did provide a link to the official site where I learned something new.  This is apparently the first of some sort of 3D movie shot in Arkansas.  I didn't know it was 3D, and I've seen it.  This one had echoes of the marvelous MOON in my brain despite not really being the same.  It was as if the director/writer/whothefuckever watched MOON and then did this.  That being said I liked it, and it being the first of the block was an excellent start. 

Dude finds aliens, watch what happens next.   Check it out if you get the chance


Neckbeard lives with mom, beats game, cute anime fighter comes to life, hi-jinks ensue.



I have no idea, I don't remember this film at all. Maybe I left early, maybe I was drunk.  Who knows?

I tried to dig up stuff on it but all I can find is a short film about dementia.  Pretty sure it wasn't that one, I don't know, I can't remember. (yeah, fuck you)


This one sounds good, KGB, Space Race, Bunkers, Psychic Powers, this shit has it all.

Here is a page with a trailer.  Looks fucking rad, right?

I don't know.  I am pretty sure I have never seen this film.  Holy shit FROTH OF KHAN is good.


Nearly silent, nearly faceless, nearly brilliant.

Falls just short of being great, lands squarely at pretty fucking good.  Easily the most ambitious film of the bunch.  Sci-Fi Noir, shady organizations, killing machines, civil war.  What more could you want?

Trailer Here.  Check it out if you get the chance.


Hands down the winner, no more words can be said.

Check out this trailer and tell me I am wrong.


This is actually the winner, I didn't even watch that hand one.  This can probably best be described as a SteamPunk homage to Dr. Horrible.  It isn't a musical, but the music is good.  It is funny and doesn't take itself to seriously.

No trailer, but the entire film is up on YOUTUBE,  Seriously, go watch it.


According to the listing this one was called "Last Day", according to my notes the title was "The Last Good Day".  Either way I can't find anything on it, which is too bad.  It was the story of a man's last day alive in a society that is much like our own except you turn yourself in for euthanasia at 70.  If you get a chance check it out, a shame I can't find any info, it really was quite good.


Dude can't trust anyone to finish his work, so he gets himself a clone.
Dunno, looks interesting, can't say that I've seen it.


This is based on an unfinished short story by Roger Ebert.  It manages to really explore the vastness of the cosmos and gives you an idea how large the universe really is, how long history is.  It does this by turning 18 minutes into a lifetime of nothing.  Nothing happens, I remember watching this, I remember it ending, but I don't remember what really happened.  Why is that?  Well for starters, Ebert should have stuck to critiques because this boring ass movie was based on his boring ass story.  Seriously, this movie was balls.

Here is the webpage if you are still curious.

Submerge: The Chronicles of Ni're

Trailer, never fucking heard of it.

Hopefully that rapes your whistles a bit. (tasteless, yeah, fuck you)

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Just kidding

I was wrong pictures incoming.

Parade of costumes

The Ah the costume parade, one of the quintessential GenCon experiences. Well I missed it because Froth of Khan in the sun king beer garden is Fucking fantastic. I bet they were awesome, but vacation and games makes me thirsty. Seriously though that shit is good.

Coscheck needs to be developed, an app that can analyze a picture and determine if it is cosplay or costume.

Steampunk explosion and the rise of kickstarter

Today, being Saturday, means costumes.  At times it looks like a watch factory exploded near an antique shop.

Warmachine tactics is an interesting looking computer game.  Video incoming shortly.

The exhibition hall is home to a surprising amount of games you cannot buy. There is an entire "entrepreneur" section. That seems to be code for pre-order this shit. Nothing wrong with crowd funding but using paper pieces for a demonstration doesn't help your project look successful.

Off to the beer garden, my favorite new addition.

When it rains it pours

Lots of beers and lots of "Roadkill Rally" last night coupled with the ceiling of our hotel room springing a leak has inspired a change of plans. Expect lots of smaller updates throughout the day.

The plus side is our final night will be in a suite.

Friday, August 15, 2014

Day One

Oh shit bitches.  It is that time again.  GenCon 2014 day one recap. Busy as shit, there has to be some sort of critical nerd-mass limit in the universe and we have to be close to reaching it. I don't know how much bigger the event can get without crumbling under its massive, stale, slightly greasy weight.

That doesn't mean it is bad, quite the opposite in fact. It is great and like the games it honors the con itself is full of swings and roundabouts. For example you might turn a corner and find yourself to be the most attractive/socially acceptable person in sight. Fucking score right? Sure, until you turn the next corner and see a Khal Drogo/Khaleesi combo that could be stand-ins for the cast. Nothing like a six-pack and some dragons to put your ass back in its place. Swings and roundabouts, from bottom to top nearly every facet of socioeconomic status and physical condition can be found. Geezers playing miniature WW2 battles alongside blue haired girls with Fox tails and mood activated ears.

That's a real thing, ears on a headband that scan your brain and react to the readings. I know it doesn't make any goddamn sense but that's the way it is.

The exhibition hall this year is even bigger and more intimidating than before. A massive sea of humanity surging up and down the aisles as if compelled by some tidal force. It takes discipline and fortitude to navigate the channels but with perseverance and a little luck it can be rewarding.

This year AEG and Paizo have lines for their booths that begin outside the exhibition hall and occasionally extend outside the building itself.  For once again just weaves their line through the hall with little concern for anyone else. What the fuck people? FFG can be had cheaper online or similarly priced at your FLGS* and that doesn't involve any interactions with the hipsters, shitlords and douchebags that staff their booth. AEG was releasing Doomtown or some such nonsense I didn't pay much attention as I try to find things that aren't easily available on Amazon. Not knocking AEG or Paizo and knocking FFG a little(they make some good games but come the fuck on) but I would rather delve into the bowels of the hall and come up with some unknown gem or interesting failure.


With that said tonight(this post is a day late) I will recap today(actually today) and show some of the games.

Last night the burglar alarm went off and dealing with that from a different state is a pain in the dick that delays posts.

Peace bitches.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014


Dear Microsoft,

Suck a big dick you fucking morons.

If I have to delete registry keys repeatedly to remote into a server in my fucking living room, your OS might be a pile of shit.

Everyone who isn't retarded.