How the fuck should I know?

Rainbows, unicorns, customers, clients, ponies, dicks, shit like that. Stickman comics where Grant's character always wears a dress.

Saturday, August 23, 2014



MORE @ 11

Seriously though, wash your fucking hands you filthy, fucking, mouth-breathing animals.  I've felt like shit pretty much all week.  No interest in finishing the posts, they are coming though.

I don't feel like dealing with pictures and witty captions so I am going to synopsisize (yeah, fuck you) the short sci-fi film block I saw.  I will attempt to be spoiler free and provide links where I can.

nullus mandatum:


This one has Jordan Hinson from Eureka in it.  She was the only actre (gender neutral, fuck you) I recognized from any of the films.  That isn't a knock, just a fact.  The movie is set in a "Terminator" style apocalypse and focuses on a group of survivors in a bunker. ( I know, fuck you) One is an irascible scamp who can't help himself, even in dire circumstances. (yeah, scamp, fuck you, irascible too) It was also one of the best of the bunch, regardless of how my previous sentence made it sound.

Here is the trailer, it may have even been an indiegogo campaign.  Check it out if you get the chance.


This film is the reason I decided to check these films out.  The tagline on the poster "Civil liberties are yesterday" really got my brain juices stewing.  Well that was a deceitful fucking lie.  Yeah in the post plague wasteland there are no civil liberties but it isn't the edgy technothriller I was hoping for.  

Here is the trailer.  It was still enjoyable, if somewhat abrupt, (short film I know, fuck you) even if the whole civil liberties spin was background noise and set dressing.  Worth checking out, I mean it is only ten minutes for shit's sake.


The IMDB page for this movie was next to useless, but it did provide a link to the official site where I learned something new.  This is apparently the first of some sort of 3D movie shot in Arkansas.  I didn't know it was 3D, and I've seen it.  This one had echoes of the marvelous MOON in my brain despite not really being the same.  It was as if the director/writer/whothefuckever watched MOON and then did this.  That being said I liked it, and it being the first of the block was an excellent start. 

Dude finds aliens, watch what happens next.   Check it out if you get the chance


Neckbeard lives with mom, beats game, cute anime fighter comes to life, hi-jinks ensue.



I have no idea, I don't remember this film at all. Maybe I left early, maybe I was drunk.  Who knows?

I tried to dig up stuff on it but all I can find is a short film about dementia.  Pretty sure it wasn't that one, I don't know, I can't remember. (yeah, fuck you)


This one sounds good, KGB, Space Race, Bunkers, Psychic Powers, this shit has it all.

Here is a page with a trailer.  Looks fucking rad, right?

I don't know.  I am pretty sure I have never seen this film.  Holy shit FROTH OF KHAN is good.


Nearly silent, nearly faceless, nearly brilliant.

Falls just short of being great, lands squarely at pretty fucking good.  Easily the most ambitious film of the bunch.  Sci-Fi Noir, shady organizations, killing machines, civil war.  What more could you want?

Trailer Here.  Check it out if you get the chance.


Hands down the winner, no more words can be said.

Check out this trailer and tell me I am wrong.


This is actually the winner, I didn't even watch that hand one.  This can probably best be described as a SteamPunk homage to Dr. Horrible.  It isn't a musical, but the music is good.  It is funny and doesn't take itself to seriously.

No trailer, but the entire film is up on YOUTUBE,  Seriously, go watch it.


According to the listing this one was called "Last Day", according to my notes the title was "The Last Good Day".  Either way I can't find anything on it, which is too bad.  It was the story of a man's last day alive in a society that is much like our own except you turn yourself in for euthanasia at 70.  If you get a chance check it out, a shame I can't find any info, it really was quite good.


Dude can't trust anyone to finish his work, so he gets himself a clone.
Dunno, looks interesting, can't say that I've seen it.


This is based on an unfinished short story by Roger Ebert.  It manages to really explore the vastness of the cosmos and gives you an idea how large the universe really is, how long history is.  It does this by turning 18 minutes into a lifetime of nothing.  Nothing happens, I remember watching this, I remember it ending, but I don't remember what really happened.  Why is that?  Well for starters, Ebert should have stuck to critiques because this boring ass movie was based on his boring ass story.  Seriously, this movie was balls.

Here is the webpage if you are still curious.

Submerge: The Chronicles of Ni're

Trailer, never fucking heard of it.

Hopefully that rapes your whistles a bit. (tasteless, yeah, fuck you)

No comments:

Post a Comment